A little while ago J gave us a day in the life of Madeleine. To add another chapter of the ongoing saga of Madeleine's life here is her trip to the dentist told from her point of view.
Today Miss Iris said I could leave school early because my daddy is waiting outside. To show my appreciation I soon as I saw my daddy I yelled as loud as I could "Daddy, am I going to the doctor?" I am wondering why all the other mommies and daddies are laughing and looking at my daddy. I like to laugh so I laugh too.
Daddy tells me we are going to a place called the dentist. As we are driving to the dentist I talk the whole time about the different doctors I go to. Of course I remind daddy that he should be driving with two hands. Even though he tells me he has a big hand and can drive with one hand I don't buy it.
When we get to the dentist I question daddy on his choice of parking spaces. He tells me this spot doesn't have a meter and it is close to the dentist. well duh I know that, it is the trash can next to the truck that I object too, parents can be so funny.
I insist that I should push the button to open the door to the dentist office after all I am the guest of honor. To ensure that the dentist knows that I am here. I yell "we are here" at the top of the stairs. Then I march over to the window and say "Hi" to the lady sitting there. She laughs and looks at my daddy and says " is this Madeleine?"
My Daddy chuckles at the lady and says "yes it is". Since she is no longer paying attention to me I turn around and again yell as loud as I can " they have lots of toys" then I proceed to play with all the toys.
When they call my name to see the dentist I tell the lady that she needs to wait because I have to put the tops back on the pens. They just don't understand there is a proper procedure to everything. After I put the tops of the pens on and put them in order I march into the next room and announce to the dentist and all her assistants that I want to watch Dora. They show me to my chair and when the assistant lowers the chair I tell her when it is getting too low. I mean, really, I have to be able to see the TV they did after all put Dora on for me.
The dentist asks me if they can take a picture of my teeth. I love pictures so I tell them yes. They have me go sit in another chair. Adults are so silly why can't they take the picture in the chair I am sitting in. I yell to my daddy that he needs to pause Dora for me so I don't miss any of it. It is the good part, Boots is flying away on a balloon, I can't miss that part.
The assistant tells me that I need to bite on this big white plastic thing so she can take a picture of my teeth. Right, like I am going to fall for that one. My daddy has taken lots of picture of me and I have never had to bite on a big plastic thing. So I spit it out and say "yuck" as loud as I can. Everyone thinks this is funny so when they try it again I spit it again a good joke is worth repeating.
They decide not take pictures of my teeth this time and they keep saying next time. But I will be five then and they won't be able to fool me then either.
I go back to my first chair and I direct daddy to un-pause Dora, he is such a good daddy he does what I tell him most of the time. The assistant hands me a toothbrush and asks me to show her how to brush my teeth. I look at the toothbrush and tell her that I can not brush my teeth without toothpaste is she completely crazy? She laughs and says I don't need toothpaste to show her how to brush teeth. Jeez are these people nuts or what? I insist, no I demand that she get me toothpaste right now. Finally she realizes that she is dealing with a superior mind and she gets me the toothpaste. I show her how to brush my teeth and she makes notes on a piece of paper and gives it my daddy. Then she tells him that he needs to help me more. He mumbles something about easier said than done whatever that means.
The dentist comes in to look at my clean teeth and to count them. She puts a bright light in my eyes and I ask for sun glasses. After much waiting they give me sun glasses and the dentist counts my teeth. She tells me that they are perfect. Duh I could of told her that.
It is time to leave, I get to pick out a toy. All the toys are inferior to my tastes, but after daddy tells me three times that I need to pick one now I finally decide on the frog with the long sticky tongue. I am not quite sure how to play it but daddy tells me he will show me when we get home. I better like it or he will be in big trouble.
On the way out daddy talks to the lady at the window again something about coming back in six months, blah blah blah. When daddy says it is time to go I turn to the lady and yell as loud as I can "bye I will miss you". It works every time they always look at me like I am the best kid ever. Boy are they right. On the way down the stairs I see that the mail has come so I yell up the stairs that they have mail. Daddy explains to me that they know and will come it get when they are ready. I think I should take it to them, but daddy assures me that they don't need it yet. I am not convinced and I tell him all the way home about it. And of course I remind him to use two hands to drive. I ask daddy what the purple paper says, he tells me it is my report card for mommy to see, and that it says that I did a good job and that my teeth are fine. Duh I could of told then that. Why didn't they just ask, parents can be so silly.
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